Molly has gone mobile. First she crawled, then she learned she could stand up. She more interested in climbing than walking as evidenced by her attempt to climb out her crib.
After two trip to local BRUS stores to find a crib tent, and one angry first nap with said crib tent in place, we are finally getting some more sleep. Once she got used to the crib tent, she could no longer pull up to try to get out and get her feet or arms stuck in the process.
Apparently all these new abilities make it harder for her to sleep. So there she was practicing at 1 a.m., 4 a.m., 5 a.m. etc. Once she was up, she couldn't settle back down without some help from mommy. Now that our friend the crib tent is in place, crib gymnastics are not as exciting and Mom and dad were treated to 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep!
Exploration of her new skills is occurring during daylight hours. Yesterday, she decided to take off running, except she cannot walk. I was holding her shoulders and she took off with her legs like the roadrunner. I kept up best I could and I'm not sure she understood that her top half has to live on top of her bottom half.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Buy Local, wherever possible!
Given the current state of our economy and the potential safety problems with imports, I have tried to be very aware of buying local products for my baby. While I cannot always find what I need from the shop around the corner, I at least look for products manufactured in the U.S.A.
I think I have become more conscious about this since I had my daughter because of all the issues with toys made in China. I have always tried to buy local products, but I have stepped up my efforts when buying baby bedding, cloth diapers, toys, baby gear, and accessories for the nursery. I like knowing that my money is being put back into our local economy, or at least the US economy instead of going overseas.
Here are some of the sites I have used to buy baby products with this principle in mind:
The Goodmama
I love these cloth diapers! These are made by WAHM's in the U.S.A. and the CEO of this company is very committed to fair labor practices. The diapers are made with organic bamboo velour and they are fabulous. They are expensive, but buying organic, locally-made products costs a little more. The advantages of buying products made in the U.S.A far exceeds the higher price tag.
Toys Made In America Site
This is an excellent resource for finding toys made in the U.S.A.
Ann Moze All Wood Toys
I Love these wooden toys! Enough said.
I'll add more links as I find them!
I think I have become more conscious about this since I had my daughter because of all the issues with toys made in China. I have always tried to buy local products, but I have stepped up my efforts when buying baby bedding, cloth diapers, toys, baby gear, and accessories for the nursery. I like knowing that my money is being put back into our local economy, or at least the US economy instead of going overseas.
Here are some of the sites I have used to buy baby products with this principle in mind:
The Goodmama
I love these cloth diapers! These are made by WAHM's in the U.S.A. and the CEO of this company is very committed to fair labor practices. The diapers are made with organic bamboo velour and they are fabulous. They are expensive, but buying organic, locally-made products costs a little more. The advantages of buying products made in the U.S.A far exceeds the higher price tag.
Toys Made In America Site
This is an excellent resource for finding toys made in the U.S.A.
Ann Moze All Wood Toys
I Love these wooden toys! Enough said.
I'll add more links as I find them!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Separation Anxiety
Most babies will go through a phase called "Separation Anxiety" that usually begins around 6 or 7 months of age according to the parenting books. Molly has started to show signs of separation anxiety from more night waking to crying if I give her to someone else to hold, even if that person is one of her primary caregivers. Though this is a new behavior for Molly I wonder if it is really a shifting of the anxiety over separation from mother to child.
You spend nine months with this little person inside you as if you are one. You breathe, eat, and get rid of wastes for them. In an instant they become separate from you through being born. This new physical separation is anxiety provoking. Where you once took care of their needs without effort, you suddenly have to learn how to help this person eat, sleep, play, and interact with the world around them. In addition, you have to let other people hold them! When I first brought Molly home, it was painful for me to let other people hold her because I wanted to hold her (Husband excepted).
She slept in our room right next to me for two weeks so that I could put my hand on her easily from my bed. When we were ready to move her to the crib, I had anxiety about her being so far away. I worried I wouldn't hear her if she needed me. Separation Anxiety.
When she was two weeks old, I left her for the first time for an hour. I cried all the way to my meeting and called my mother every 30 minutes to check on her. Separation anxiety.
Now that she is older, I can put her to bed or leave her for the day while I am at graduate school and I am not so anxious about it. I have gotten used to the idea that she and I can be separated from one another and still be together. It has taken Molly longer to realize that we are no longer joined together. Now that she is figuring it out, the separation anxiety has shifted to her. The only difference between us in terms of this anxiety is that I always had the power to return to her whenever I needed. Because she cannot walk, talk, crawl, or drive a car, she has to trust that I will come back to her. I do think she trusts this now, but it must be hard not to be able to figure out how to get back together with the people you have being separated from.
You spend nine months with this little person inside you as if you are one. You breathe, eat, and get rid of wastes for them. In an instant they become separate from you through being born. This new physical separation is anxiety provoking. Where you once took care of their needs without effort, you suddenly have to learn how to help this person eat, sleep, play, and interact with the world around them. In addition, you have to let other people hold them! When I first brought Molly home, it was painful for me to let other people hold her because I wanted to hold her (Husband excepted).
She slept in our room right next to me for two weeks so that I could put my hand on her easily from my bed. When we were ready to move her to the crib, I had anxiety about her being so far away. I worried I wouldn't hear her if she needed me. Separation Anxiety.
When she was two weeks old, I left her for the first time for an hour. I cried all the way to my meeting and called my mother every 30 minutes to check on her. Separation anxiety.
Now that she is older, I can put her to bed or leave her for the day while I am at graduate school and I am not so anxious about it. I have gotten used to the idea that she and I can be separated from one another and still be together. It has taken Molly longer to realize that we are no longer joined together. Now that she is figuring it out, the separation anxiety has shifted to her. The only difference between us in terms of this anxiety is that I always had the power to return to her whenever I needed. Because she cannot walk, talk, crawl, or drive a car, she has to trust that I will come back to her. I do think she trusts this now, but it must be hard not to be able to figure out how to get back together with the people you have being separated from.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Parental Decision-Making
One thing I have really noticed since I became a parent is how hard it is for me to make decisions about how to best respond as a parent. I am notorious in m family for being very decisive and definite in my decisions, but since I had Molly I agonize over every little decision where she is concerned. Since she is only 4.5 months old, there are not that many decisions to make beyond some very basic things. A funny example of this new family phenomenon is how my husband and I became overwhelmed by all the choices in the diaper isle at Target right before she was born. The diaper isle seemed to have endless kinds of diapers even within the same brand. How would we choose?
We left there with some diapers but had the sinking feeling that we had no idea what we were up against. Some choices were easy for us, like the decision to breastfeed and the decision not to be a co-sleeping family. It was also pretty easy for us to decide that I would not return to work and would focus on graduate school and taking care of Molly. The Cry-It-Out debate was really the first decision that seemed important in setting the tone for how we would respond to Molly's behaviors. I read as much as I could and was still completely baffled by how to make a decision to respond to night waking that was not hunger, diaper, or need-based beyond a desire to play with mom and dad at 3 a.m. In the end, I should acknowledge that my husband never really had as much struggle with the decision. He agonizes about these things considerably less than I do. My own parents finally commented that Molly would be OK, no matter what we did. I really believed this to be true, but still felt paralyzed by having to make a choice.
I think it is this consistency thing that makes it hard for me. I had always had an easy time with decisions because I knew if it didn't work, I could just make another decision to go in a different direction. With parenting, this rapid-change decision-making is not so easy as the child ages. I believe it is really important to be consistent so your child develops a clear understanding of expectations, rewards, how they will be responded to, and that their parents are in charge. If you are going to maintain this level of consistency with what behaviors you encourage or discourage you cannot just change direction with how you parent when things get hard. Your child is going to cry, throw a fit, and maybe tell you they hate you when they are 16, and that is hard. But you do not have the option of shifting to a new parenting philosophy midstream. Even if you did, the tears would still fall at some point. This is not to say that you can never adjust your parenting to meet the needs of your child as they develop, but that you need to consistently give it a chance. Just because it is hard in the process of being consistent, that doesn't mean that your approach is all wrong.
Right now we are still working on being consistent with how we put Molly down to sleep and how we will respond at night when she feels like playing. In the future, things will be harder in terms of the types of behaviors we will be challenged with. I am wondering if it is not so much exactly what supportive and responsive parenting method that you choose, but whether or not you have the strength to be consistent with it that makes the difference to the child. This point is seldom emphasized in the doomsday parenting books that advocate their method so definitively.
We left there with some diapers but had the sinking feeling that we had no idea what we were up against. Some choices were easy for us, like the decision to breastfeed and the decision not to be a co-sleeping family. It was also pretty easy for us to decide that I would not return to work and would focus on graduate school and taking care of Molly. The Cry-It-Out debate was really the first decision that seemed important in setting the tone for how we would respond to Molly's behaviors. I read as much as I could and was still completely baffled by how to make a decision to respond to night waking that was not hunger, diaper, or need-based beyond a desire to play with mom and dad at 3 a.m. In the end, I should acknowledge that my husband never really had as much struggle with the decision. He agonizes about these things considerably less than I do. My own parents finally commented that Molly would be OK, no matter what we did. I really believed this to be true, but still felt paralyzed by having to make a choice.
I think it is this consistency thing that makes it hard for me. I had always had an easy time with decisions because I knew if it didn't work, I could just make another decision to go in a different direction. With parenting, this rapid-change decision-making is not so easy as the child ages. I believe it is really important to be consistent so your child develops a clear understanding of expectations, rewards, how they will be responded to, and that their parents are in charge. If you are going to maintain this level of consistency with what behaviors you encourage or discourage you cannot just change direction with how you parent when things get hard. Your child is going to cry, throw a fit, and maybe tell you they hate you when they are 16, and that is hard. But you do not have the option of shifting to a new parenting philosophy midstream. Even if you did, the tears would still fall at some point. This is not to say that you can never adjust your parenting to meet the needs of your child as they develop, but that you need to consistently give it a chance. Just because it is hard in the process of being consistent, that doesn't mean that your approach is all wrong.
Right now we are still working on being consistent with how we put Molly down to sleep and how we will respond at night when she feels like playing. In the future, things will be harder in terms of the types of behaviors we will be challenged with. I am wondering if it is not so much exactly what supportive and responsive parenting method that you choose, but whether or not you have the strength to be consistent with it that makes the difference to the child. This point is seldom emphasized in the doomsday parenting books that advocate their method so definitively.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Consignment Sale Season
Before Molly, I had no idea what a consignment sale was. I understood the concept of a consignment store, but a friend explained that a consignment sale is a huge affair with hundreds of consignors selling equipment, clothes, toys, etc.
That's how I buy her clothes now. Lists of sales can be found here.
I bought a whole wardrobe for ages 6-12 months plus a few quality wooden toys for $100.
That's how I buy her clothes now. Lists of sales can be found here.
I bought a whole wardrobe for ages 6-12 months plus a few quality wooden toys for $100.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sleeping
At our house, just we we think we've got Molly's sleeping habits sorted, the scooby-tube dog we rescued decides he needs some 3 a.m. attention. Molly slept great throughout the whole thing, so at least someone in the house got at least 8 hours. John and I, however, on running on fumes. Maybe EVERYONE in the house will have all of their needs met between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. tonight.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Feminism and Motherhood
Examining Feminist Notions of Equality Through the Lens of Motherhood
As a student of gender studies in college, the idea of gender equality seemed very obvious in terms of theory. Men and women are equal in all things. In practice, I considered this statement as one that would easily govern why men and women should have equal pay, equal right, and equal opportunity under the law.
In the dictionary, the word equal is defined as: " as great as; the same as." This basic definition of what makes two things equal is at the core of how many of us understand gender equality.
I accepted this idea readily until I became a mother.
Unavoidably, we all understand that men and women are different biologically. But I believed that this biological difference would not prevent women from being equal to men. I also had some vague idea about how parenting could be equally shared between two partners despite the basic physical differences that could be present when one parent gives birth or is breastfeeding. I didn't have much idea of the specific details of how the workload of parenting would be "equally" distributed, but I was fairly certain that it was possible with two willing parents.
As a Women's Studies major in college, I recall discussing ways in which social structures have historically reinforced gender inequality. I do not recall ever discussing how our belief in the universal sameness of equality is betrayed by the inexorable certainty of our biology.
Because I was the person who was pregnant and is able to breastfeed, the differences between my husband and are in terms of our parenting workload are immediately different. This difference does not resemble the parenting equality I theoretically envisioned. I am not angry about this, but I was surprised by it. My husband did as much as a man could in those early days after we brought Molly home, but since I was breastfeeding I was the one who HAD to get up and feed her every 2 1/2 hours. My husband might have felt like I spent more quality time with Molly as a result, but in those early days I was so tired I didn't feel like I had any quality time anywhere.
If I was more committed to making sure everything was more equal formula feeding would have afforded more of an equal division of parenting labor. But breastfeeding is best, and all parents want to do what is best for their child. But take note that this decision will affect women more than their husbands. I'm not sure how parenting equality plays out in same sex couples, where this innate biological difference is not present.
Ideologically my understanding of gender equality before being a mother is overly simplistic. How can we redefine equality in terms of gender? Do we need too? Men and women are different, sometimes to the extent that our journey through life will not always be able to be the same. The problem seems to me to be that we continue to emphasize that within the gender differences, everyone accepts that to be a man is the superior experience. Are we aspiring to have gender equality that is rooted in the idea that we have the right to have experiences that are the same as a man's? How can we erase the hierarchy without trying to erase the reality of gender difference?
In the dictionary, the word equal is defined as: " as great as; the same as." This basic definition of what makes two things equal is at the core of how many of us understand gender equality.
I accepted this idea readily until I became a mother.
Unavoidably, we all understand that men and women are different biologically. But I believed that this biological difference would not prevent women from being equal to men. I also had some vague idea about how parenting could be equally shared between two partners despite the basic physical differences that could be present when one parent gives birth or is breastfeeding. I didn't have much idea of the specific details of how the workload of parenting would be "equally" distributed, but I was fairly certain that it was possible with two willing parents.
As a Women's Studies major in college, I recall discussing ways in which social structures have historically reinforced gender inequality. I do not recall ever discussing how our belief in the universal sameness of equality is betrayed by the inexorable certainty of our biology.
Because I was the person who was pregnant and is able to breastfeed, the differences between my husband and are in terms of our parenting workload are immediately different. This difference does not resemble the parenting equality I theoretically envisioned. I am not angry about this, but I was surprised by it. My husband did as much as a man could in those early days after we brought Molly home, but since I was breastfeeding I was the one who HAD to get up and feed her every 2 1/2 hours. My husband might have felt like I spent more quality time with Molly as a result, but in those early days I was so tired I didn't feel like I had any quality time anywhere.
If I was more committed to making sure everything was more equal formula feeding would have afforded more of an equal division of parenting labor. But breastfeeding is best, and all parents want to do what is best for their child. But take note that this decision will affect women more than their husbands. I'm not sure how parenting equality plays out in same sex couples, where this innate biological difference is not present.
Ideologically my understanding of gender equality before being a mother is overly simplistic. How can we redefine equality in terms of gender? Do we need too? Men and women are different, sometimes to the extent that our journey through life will not always be able to be the same. The problem seems to me to be that we continue to emphasize that within the gender differences, everyone accepts that to be a man is the superior experience. Are we aspiring to have gender equality that is rooted in the idea that we have the right to have experiences that are the same as a man's? How can we erase the hierarchy without trying to erase the reality of gender difference?
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